So often we are fearful of any type of failure and so we avoid it at all costs.

Don’t fail at work
Don’t fail at school
Don’t fail at relationships
Don’t fail at being an ideal parent
Don’t fail at looking a certain way
Don’t fail at showing up in general

But is this fear of failure holding you back from getting started? Are you keeping yourself small by not showing up at all? Are you fearful of failing because of the feelings it evokes in you?

If any of this is true for you, then the question is do you know what failure is? More specifically – what is failure to you?


When I ask you that I mean failure by your own expectations … not others.

And from there, what if we could control how we felt about failure, completely reframe our approach so the icky feelings of disappointment, deflated energy, embarrassment and ALL the other feels you get when missing the mark were different.

Wouldn’t that be amazing!

Imagine this;

You set out to take action on something (insert what that is for you), you create an expectation around what achieving it will look like and what it will feel like then you don’t get there. You fail. You fail hard.

It’s at this point that you get to decide what you are going to allow that to mean for you. You get to decide what you think about that. So here are your options;

A) You think it’s a disappointment, its dejecting, it’s a failure and it’s the last time you’re going to put yourself out there and try anything.

How do you feel reading this right now? Heavy, let down, flat?


B) You think it’s part of the journey, now I can run a new race and for growth to happen I need to navigate the failures twisting and pivoting my plans but ultimately keep taking aligned action and moving forward.

How do you feel reading this – enlightened, motivated, accepting?

Can you see now how what you think evokes a feeling which determines the action you take?

So by avoiding failure on a whole you are actually avoiding something you have control over.

You get to control what you think about failure, you get to control the feelings attached to it and ultimately you decide how it impacts your actions.

The great thing to realise at this point is that we can reframe our thoughts.

To do that you need to develop 3 things;

  • AWARENESS – Be prepared and recognise that taking action and NOT meeting your own expectations is going to happen at some point. Life happens regardless and not meeting those expectations doesn’t mean anything is wrong it just means our approach needs to evolve or the journey is going to be different.
  • NURTURE – If we are aware that at some point we won’t be meeting our expectations but when this happens we aren’t going to beat ourselves up or allow our negative voice to take control instead we are going to praise ourselves for showing up, making a move and not being a bystander in our own life and recognise that pivoting plans is part of growth but everything is ok.
  • ACTION – Take action on what you want to achieve. We have built awareness in step 1, created an understanding in step 2 that when ‘failure’ happens we are releasing more self love, then the only thing left to do is take action and grow!

Put this simple strategy into practice over and over again because we need continuity and commitment to change our thoughts. I know these 3 steps are a game changer in navigating failure in a loving and nurturing way so that you can achieve your hearts desire and move forward perhaps now with greater expectations than before.


Linsi xo

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