RELEASING EXPECTATIONS IS THE MOST FREEING & SCARY THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOURSELF TO PROMOTE FEELINGS OF GROWTH AND EXPANSION WHILE OPENING YOU UP TO LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES.
Big call right?
Let me tell you why ….
Without the expectations we set on ourselves and others, to begin with there is uncertainty. For so many of us that means venturing into an unfamiliar space of not being in control 🙋🏻♀ and as women we rely on control to get s*^t done, am I right?
Think about your expectations like a soft safety net. You keep them close by for the ‘just in case’ & ‘emergency’ situations you know life throws at you.
Here’s a point you may not have considered though. Holding onto expectations is like keeping your blinkers on, you are living from a restricted view of the world and allowing your inner critic to play a leading role.
When you release expectations, the strangle hold your inner critic has on you will also loosen and in some cases melt the limiting story you tell yourself is your truth away completely.
That’s right, that sneaky little voice that plays in the back of your mind and only really steps forward when you are feeling vulnerable or stretched out of your comfort zone is totally aligned with the expectations you have set down as your truth.
I eat what she eats but she looks better than I do
👉 Outcome focused
I can only reward myself with X when I reach Z
👉 Tries to manage others expectations of you
If I do this they’ll like me/trust me/spend time with me.
👉 Closed off to change/new opportunities
I don’t have time to do (insert self care here)
These sorts of expectations are some of the most common and even if you don’t lean into every single one of them personally, chances are you’ve heard someone close to you refer to them as their own truth.
Right now if I was to ask you to say each one aloud or write it on paper you’d probably stop half way and tell me how ridiculous they sound. If your best friend or sister came to you and confided these were expectations she had set for herself, what would you say?
Regardless of how crazy our conscious mind thinks we are, we let ourselves believe it when the story plays out in our head, even taking action or switching choices based on these expectations.
Like any new skill it takes time, practice and consistency to release the expectations we set down on ourselves and others. What does that look like and how do we practice daily?
💫 ACKNOWLEDGE – Start the conversation with yourself. Write down or say aloud (or both) openly and freely;
“I am placing an expectation on myself (or someone else) to (your specific expectation here).
This is going to translate outside of body confidence so don’t hold yourself to one area here, relationships, finances, career, wherever you feel called to go follow your intuition.
💫 ALLOW – Listen to the expectation you are placing on yourself right now and allow the space to hear it for what it is and how it makes you FEEL.
💫 AFFIRM – When it comes to affirmations, start with filtering them through your day. Something I know to be really rewarding for my clients is to create a routine around the practice to begin with. As an example first thing in the morning you brush your teeth and spend 5 minutes reciting affirmations. To get you started;
“Even though I am placing and expectation of (insert yours here) I know it is not my truth and therefore preventing me from living authentically”
Outside of your affirmation routine, recite aloud anytime you feel triggered by an expectation.
If becoming a confident, authentic & empowered woman is your dream reality then letting go of expectations is going to allow you the space and energy to get there quicker.